Well... me, being me... in typical me fashion... failed to note the day and time of the "Meet the Teacher" day for my kids' school.

This led to a very interesting first day of school.

First off, we got up early so we could get there early... because none of us had a clue. None of the kids knew who their teachers would be. 

We got to the school about half an hour early and walked up to the aide outside who was helping with class assignments. All three of my kids stopped and just stared at her. Finally, she said, "Ok, we'll start with you," and looked at my youngest, "What grade are you in and what is your name?" "Second." (pause) "Ok, and your name?" "Julie." (longer pause) "I need your last name, Julie." Again, a one word answer. "Ok Julie, you're in Mrs. D's class, you're going to be in the yellow hallway. Next, " she said, looking at Kailey. "My name is Kailey and I'm in fourth grade." "Ok, Kailey, you'll be in Ms. Brown's class." ALL four of us stood there with our mouths open in utter shock and horror as we asked in unison, "WHICH ONE?"

Last year, Joshua was in Ms. Brown's class. Ms. Brown was a real piece of work and I specifically had requested that Kailey NOT be in her class this year. I personally could not fathom another year of dealing with this woman. All of us breathed a sigh of relief as the aide said, "Ms. B. Brown." (who is the OTHER Ms. Brown) and once again got looks of sheer horror as she said, "Ms. D. Brown has been moved to fifth grade this year." Josh was afraid to tell the aide what grade he was in... (he's in fifth) but was happy to find out that he's in another class. His best friend Michael got stuck with Ms. D. Brown again though. Josh is very sad that Michael is not in his class.

So, off the kids go to get breakfast as I go off to attempt to remember which teacher goes to which kid so that I could meet them and introduce myself. I went to Julie's class first... (thinking for some reason it was in the green hallway and having to ask directions twice.) I found it. I also found Julie, who had decided that she didn't want the school breakfast since she'd eaten at home. We walked into the classroom and I made a grand attempt to introduce myself and appologize for having missed the meet the teacher day... it came out something like this,

"I'm Carrie. Julie's mom. I'm sorry I missed the meep a peetcher... tme the meet... the thing the other day where I was supposed to come in." I did this at ALL THREE class rooms. I could not say, "Meet the Teacher" to save my life.... this is a great start... right...

So, I got to Joshua's class last. They were announcing that all the kids should now be in their classrooms. I was a little concerned because Josh was not in his... but not too concerned because half the class was actually missing. I took the opportunity to introduce myself... tripping over my introduction yet again. Asked if it was alright to stick around to take Josh's picture, since I'd already gotten the girls. She said it was fine and the other kids in the class were all like, "Yeah, my mom did that too." So, a little while goes by and still no Josh... no other class mates either, so I'm not yet concerned, but I must have looked a bit concerned because his teacher asked me, "Is there any reason that Josh wouldn't make it to class?" I kinda smiled and said, "Yeah... Josh is an interesting kid... you'll see. He's not very good with directions... neither am I. I can get lost on a one way street."

Josh did make it to class. He was lined up with the rest of the class in a different hallway. (The fifth graders have their own wing of the school where they kinda practice moving from class to class like in middle school.) It's going to be a fun year...

I will say, I got three very happy and excited kids home from their first day... which is more than I can say about last year.

Hey all!

Just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be MIA for a while. Like about the next three weeks, unless I happen to get access to a computer between now and then. Right now I am at my dad's house using his computer, but for the next few weeks I'm taking my kids trekking up through Herkimer, NY to go diamond mining and then on to Vermont to visit my aunt.

So far though, I've got to tell you a bit about traveling as and with an Aspie.

I do not sleep in the car. There is too much road noise that even earplugs do not block out. The motion is ok, but every little bump jars me back into complete consciousness. The headlights of other cars at night drive me nuts, flashing by my eyes even when they are closed, and for some reason I always forget to bring something like an eye mask or even my bandana to make a blindfold with... but even that has its drawbacks, like being constantly aware of it touching my face. Not to mention the uncomfortable position of sleeping sitting up more or less.

My son doesn't have nearly as much trouble sleeping in the car though. Thankfully. He doesn't complain about it.

We spent the first three days, two nights at my mother-in-law's fiance's parent's house... yeah, say that three times fast... It was an Aspie's worst nightmare. Cramped quarters, strange smells, lots of bugs, unfamiliar noises and the most uncomfortable beds EVER... worse than sleeping in the car.

BUT, we managed to have fun anyway. Josh occupied himself with imaginary sword fights. The girls played with somebody's baby... I'm not really sure who belonged to whom... John and I went swimming in the "creek". I'm not really sure how this qualifies as a creek, being as what I know as a creek is shallow water running through a semi-wooded area... this was salt water off the bay in Fortesque, NJ that ran in a channel I guess from the Delaware River out to the ocean? Anyway, we couldn't let the kids do it because the current was INSANE strong. We jumped from one dock and then swam like crazy to catch the rope that was tied to the other dock. Heaven help you if you missed the rope, you'd be swept out to the bay. I'm a good swimmer though, so I had no trouble with it.

What I did have trouble with was getting OUT of the water... the rungs of the ladder were SLIMEY... they had algae and stuff growing on them and eeeeeewwwww.... is about all I can say about that.

The next day we went to Wheaton Village and the glass factory there... that was FASCINATING. I got to watch a girl make a marble. Gave me all kinds of ideas for how to make this thing I see inside my head... now I just have to figure out how to do it myself.

Now I'm at my dad's house in Pennsylvania, which has changed A LOT over the past three years since my mom died, and even more in the year since we moved to Florida. He took out cabinets that were there and part of a wall and some other stuff... and I keep trying to go get things out of cabinets that are not there. It is weird. The noises in what was my room are slightly different. The couch is gone and in its place is a leather couch that I am afraid I will somehow poke holes in. Not sure why... it just seems so fragile? (not the right word, but I can't think of a better one)

Tomorrow we are going to visit the Singing Rocks out past New Hope in Bucks County. This ought to be good, but it brings up an Aspie thing with my son. In April, he fell backward off of some rocks in Key Largo and put an nice gash in his head, now he is terrified of climbing on rocks. I am trying to convince him that these rocks are very different. They are not wet. He will be wearing sneakers instead of crocs. And they're smaller. It'll be interesting to see what happens tomorrow.

I'm also interested to see how my kids, all of them, handle my aunt's vegan ways... I'll update when I can, but until then... don't think I'm being anti-social or have been scared off...

Because my son is not disruptive, he is generally ignored. He is bored by or does not understand most of what is going on, so he simply zones out. I get comments from his teachers like, "Josh is not on task." "Josh does not follow instructions." "Josh sits there with his feet on his chair and his chin on his knees." "Josh is a smart boy, but he's not working up to his potential."

Let me tell you about Josh:

Josh started counting before he could talk. Josh knew his letters and numbers before he was two years old. Josh knew how to make the VCR work when he was ten months old. He couldn't walk, but he could turn on the TV and VCR to watch VeggieTales or Winnie the Pooh. He couldn't talk, but he could pick out which VeggieTales video was which without the covers on them. I could line up the tapes on the floor and tell him, "Josh, get King George and the Ducky" or "Dave and the Giant Pickle" or whatever tape, and he would crawl over and grab the right tape EVERY time. He would hum along in perfect pitch with all the songs. When he finally did start talking, it was quotes from VeggieTales and Pooh, or he would repeat back whatever was said to him.

He had absolutely no interest in potty training until one day, when he was three and a half, he decided he was done with diapers. He never had an accident until I tried to send him to preschool. That was a NIGHTMARE and a half. He SCREAMED every time I tried to leave him there. He had accidents and was not allowed to wear pull ups just in case, and it would embarrass him something horrible. He was four, turning five in May. I was trying to get him ready for Kindergarten. More often than not, I would get a call to come pick him up early. So, I took him out.

Josh almost never makes eye contact. He does not like to touch certain things. When he would shake a toy with one hand, the other hand would move too. When he would run, he would twist his arms behind his back and hold them at an odd angle. He moves constantly. He jumps around as though he is fighting imaginary enemies... ALL the time and in inappropriate settings... try walking through Walmart with a kid who is doing battle with orcs... You'd have to see him do it to know what I mean. He jumps up and down while playing video games. He is obsessed with The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and Spongebob.

When he was seven, he was doing word problems like: Josh, you've got 146 orcs chasing you. 7 elves come to your rescue. Each elf takes out 5 orcs, how many are left for you to fight? I had to carry a calculator with me to keep up with him. If I made up a problem that would end up in a negative answer, he'd tell me that there were so many too few orcs to make that number of elves happy.

In PA, the mandatory school age is eight years old rather than six years old like most other states. I had been working with Josh, and by three, he was reading. So, sending him to a Philadelphia public school did not seem like the best of options. I had intended to continue working with him along with my mom, who had a degree in early childhood education and development, along with 20+ years of experience in the field and 8+ years of having homeschooled us. In December of 2004, everything changed.

My mom was diagnosed with cancer just days before I got a job working at a gas station. So, instead of continuing my plan to homeschool Josh until I HAD to send him to school, in October of 2005, I ended up enrolling him in first grade. We were still living in Philadelphia, but it was almost an hour from my mom's house where she and my sister would be taking care of the kids after school until John or I could come pick them up. So, we "moved in" with my parents in order to put them in the school near them. The kids pretty much did actually live at my parents house, with me sleeping there half the week as well.  Josh's first grade teacher recommended him for the gifted program, but because the school was suspicious about our arrangement, they did not follow through with the testing.

Then, when Josh started school the next year, a mean-spirited neighbor informed the school that we definitely did not live within the district. My mom lost her battle with cancer, and all hell broke loose.

Rather than having the kids, who were traumatized by losing their grandmother, go to another school and become problems for the teachers there, I took them out for the remainder of the year and homeschooled them. I had friends at church who helped watch them when my schedule overlapped with John's. The next year, I re-enrolled them in the new school, since we had moved to a better district. Josh was in third grade there. His teacher understood what I was talking about and made some concessions for him, but it went no further than that. This new district was not as on top of things as the other one. I told them that Josh had been in the process of being considered for the gifted program in the other district, but apparently that never made it into his official records. His other teacher's recommendations had been ignored and pushed aside.

Meanwhile, I'm attempting to get Josh an official diagnosis of SOMETHING. I'd never heard of Aspergers until that year when I started doing more research on autism. My mom had "diagnosed" him as being on the spectrum, but her word meant nothing since she was not an official anything anywhere. Even with 20+ years of working with children, including several who were severely autistic. So, I went to our family doctor and told him my concerns with some of Josh's behavior. I brought him in and after just a few minutes of watching Josh have a conversation with his own hand... he agreed with me that Josh either had Asperger's or "High functioning autism". The problem is, it ended with him giving me a phone number for Children's Hospital, and charging me the $15 copay to do so. He gave me NOTHING to take to them to show that there was valid concern other than my own word. CHOP had a waiting list of about three years before I could even get in for an evaluation.

Then, my husband's job had us transferred to Florida. I had to take Josh to a pediatrician here for a physical because the doctor at his previous school had written the date on his current one as 12/07/05 instead of 12/05/07... and I couldn't get it fixed in time to get him into school here. I talked to her about my concerns with Josh and I was met with, "Oh, you don't want him to grow up with a label like that do you?" and she refused to even consider helping me out with it. Then, before I could even think about changing doctors, we lost our health insurance...

That brings me back to the beginning of this post. Josh is still not officially diagnosed. I can't get anywhere with his school. The councellor there told me, "Oh, maybe it would be better for Josh to be in a small private school." AS IF I CAN AFFORD THAT??? Meanwhile, my seven year old has a slight speech impediment, an interdental lisp, pretty much caused by the fact that her thumb is always in her mouth... and she has an IEP and goes to speech therapy two days a week. My eight year old daughter missed a few homework assignments and was a little behind her grade level in reading, and she was put into a special study group and had a Progress Monitoring Plan. I'm BEGGING the school for help with Josh and I get a phone number for CARD whom I've called four times with no answer and no return call. I've emailed them twice with no response.

Josh is going to be in fifth grade in September. It is his last year before middle school. It totally sucks that he has actually regressed this year. He went from getting A's and B's to getting C's and D's. Though, by the end of the year, he did pull his final grades up to B's and C's.  I was told that he has "fragmented skills" because of moving around so much through different school districts and that was the only real reason he was struggling. No, his teacher was horrible. SHE was the only one to tell me the things that I wrote at the beginning of the post. Josh came home from school nearly every day crying because he thought he was a failure. It took me outright telling the teacher, "I don't EVER want you to tell him again that he is not working up to his potential" for things to finally start looking up again. Josh is extremely smart. The only reason that he was not working up to his potential is because he was not being TAUGHT to his potential. He was being taught as an average kid. Average kids have different skill sets than Josh. They have strengths that he doesn't have and he has strengths that they don't have. They have weaknesses that he doesn't have and he has weaknesses that they don't have.

Josh has to make a physical and mental effort to simply stay seated in his chair. He's told me so. He hates it. It takes concentration to control the impulse to get up and "fight orcs". How in the world is he learning anything when his mind is on staying in his seat?

Josh has been begging me to homeschool him again. I have been trying to convince my husband to let me try again. The laws in Florida are only a little different than Pennsylvania. I just wish I could get an official diagnosis so that I could take advantage of programs that would help me teach Josh some of the things it has taken me most of my life to finally learn through trial and error. It does not help matters that I am on the spectrum as well. I don't have an official diagnosis either, but I knew it when I was eleven years old and read a story about an autisic girl. She was severely autistic though... and Aspergers was unheard of back in the 80's... but when they described her behavior and sensory issues I kept thinking, "That's me! I do that!" But, who listens to an eleven year old? I pushed it aside too because this girl didn't talk and I did, so I couldn't be autistic... right?

So, I am trying to put things together for next year and praying that by the time Josh starts middle school that either a) I can get him officially diagnosed and into some kind of helpful program. or b) I can homeschool and work with him myself. The last thing in the world I want for Josh is the HELL I went through in middle school. I was lucky? enough to have spent my elementary years in a small private school that basically considered me a problem kid starting in about fourth grade, but they were happy enough to keep taking my parents' money in spite of that. I don't know what to do for Josh. I want the absolute best for him. I know he's smart. I know he's talented. This kid can sing. He can draw. He can act. I just don't know how to bring out and develop the best in him, but I will keep trying. He's a very happy kid most of the time. I love him to pieces and wouldn't trade him for anything. I just don't want him to look back on his childhood the way I look back on mine.